When Life Has Got You Down

Well hello!

Mental health check!  How are you?

Me, I’m on a mild downswing with my bi-polar disorder.  For me, that means mild depression.  Oh joy.

I say mild because that’s what it is.

I find myself having a lack of desire to do things other than sitting around my house playing Animal Crossing.  And I only want to do that because it involves just sitting around my house!

I’m having trouble falling asleep at night and then, in the morning, I’m having trouble waking up!  That’s what you call a no-win situation. It’s because of the lack of sleep the night before leads to a desire to sleep in, but the alarm I set to try and wake myself up every day says no.  Bother.

This week I told myself I was going to start doing things.  I know, doing things won’t snap me out of my depression, nor do I expect it to, but my house won’t clean itself.

When I looked at the idea of cleaning my house it felt too daunting, so I skipped doing something on Monday.

On Tuesday I told myself that I was going to clean the master bathroom.  That didn’t happen.  It felt like an insurmountable task.  Like Sisyphus and his boulder.

Then, on  Wednesday, I decided to try something different.  If the idea of cleaning a whole room felt too huge, why not just clean part of it.

So I cleaned the shower.

Finally, a win!

I did something.

Thursday, I woke up early and met with my psychiatrist.  He doesn’t recommend changing my medication at this time, because, like most people, my change of mental state can be directly related to the chaos caused by Covid-19, even though my day to day life hasn’t changed much.

So for now, I just have to remember to be not to harsh with my self when I find it hard to get out of bed and to practice good self-care.

Oh, and lots of cuddles with this one.